what you think you want

No desire whatsoever to "bounce back." Right now, I don't care to cook elaborate food or tidy the house or even appear particularly put-together when people come over. Probably safer that way. None of those tasks are achievable anyway. I attribute the not-caring & general lack of anxiety over things that would normally make me burst into tears (ie. broken milk jar, my fault, half gallon wasted) to the placenta pills. They.are.my.jam. It's very clear in my mind & heart what actually needs attention.

My boys need my time. Os needs to nurse every couple hours, E needs cuddles & kisses & reading books together as one-on-one mama time, Nic needs words of gratitude & encouragement for the kick-ass daddy he is for us. My body needs time: to rest overworked muscles, to recover healthy iron levels, to increase quality milk supply, to restore hormone levels, to ease an over-active mind. Other demands (even temptations like photo editing) must wait while we preserve this place of respite for our family. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

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